This definitely helps explain the amount of relentless shame I feel in regards to my ongoing depression. It keeps me from brushing my teeth or showering more than once a week, but if I manage to do either of those things twice a week, it doesn't feel any better. I think it's because if I'm following a rule, I'm following a rule. If I'm not, then I'm breaking it. It's very all-or-nothing. Someday maybe I'll allow myself more lenience and compassion.
This definitely helps explain the amount of relentless shame I feel in regards to my ongoing depression. It keeps me from brushing my teeth or showering more than once a week, but if I manage to do either of those things twice a week, it doesn't feel any better. I think it's because if I'm following a rule, I'm following a rule. If I'm not, then I'm breaking it. It's very all-or-nothing. Someday maybe I'll allow myself more lenience and compassion.
It's surprising how hard showering or other self-care can be in depression--there are so many steps! I appreciate your hope of someday!