Dare to Be Unproductive
Our chosen activities gain importance and worth simply because we enjoy them.
One of the superpowers of social anxiety is a healthy sense of conscientiousness. “Conscientious” comes from the word conscience, meaning our sense of right and wrong. We try to do the right thing and are often responsible, reliable, and hardworking.
However, sometimes that conscientiousness can overgrow and make us overly dutiful. There are lots of reasons for this: maybe you were taught to be maximally productive. Maybe you learned indulging purely for fun was just that: indulgent. Maybe you grew up in a family where only one person’s wants mattered and you had to revolve around them like a planet around the sun. Or maybe you avoid criticism by never getting caught doing something you’re not supposed to do.
Regardless, if conscientiousness has overgrown, you may find that “because I want to” isn’t a sufficient reason to justify how you spend your time. It’s the dark side of what’s usually a superpower.
If you’re nodding in recognition, I have a challenge for you. This week, dare to be unproductive. Read a thriller instead of that history of the Taliban collecting dust on your nightstand. Watch standup comedy rather than working your way through Best Picture winners. Take a nap. The only rule is to try something you want, not something you think you should (which means if you’ve been wanting to watch CODA or read that history of the Taliban, by all means go for it!)
When we give ourselves permission to do things we like and want, we gain agency and confidence. Instead of doing the things we’re told are important and worthy, our chosen activities gain importance and worth because we like them.